The Coiffure and Courage

Boycut hairdo is something that catches my attention.  I can reckon easily  'Meg Ryan' in You've got mail ,'Sagarika Ghosh' of CNN-IBN and 'Priyanka Gandhi' who spot the pixie cut. Though meaningless, I somehow feel girls with this boyish haircut are dauntless. Of late 'Mamta Mohandas' , South Indian actress and singer has also become a favorite. I remember seeing her in a few films but took notice only when I saw her in Asiavision awards with a superb boycut. She went on to sing 'Kizhaku pookum' song from her Malayalam flick Anwar. And today I happened to read an interview of hers in Cinema Plus-Hindu. She has battled cancer and she had to cut her hair off for chemotherapy. She says ' I would work eight days in two weeks and then go for a chemo. It was tough'. With an air of optimism and courage she tells ' I will focus on my work so that I could be heard better in future. I need to be more powerful to make a difference. And yaa the haircut, I always like a new hairdo'. Now that goes for a toast Mamta, for your coiffure and courage. 

Blah Blah...

This quote is such blatant truth. ' The tragedy of life is not death, but what we let die inside us while we live'. Read it on the front page of Robin Sharma's ' Who will cry when you die'. Hit me hard.

Why do most of us say something that we just don't mean to say?? I wanted to shout at someone but instead I said 'It's Ok'. What the hell.

I am proud to have known a friend whom I call Ani. She has tried her best to keep in contact with me and many others after school days. She has written her CA papers and I pray she clears them.

This birthday I realized I love myself more than I did last year.

On my friends birthday I came to know that my inditing skill is at an all time low and it needs grooming as I couldn't think of anything to write on his card.

There is no current favorite song of mine. How come?

I watched Alaipayuthe last weekend for the umpteenth time and couldn't stop myself from going gaga.

I don't believe anymore that Bhagavat Gita is meant to be read only during old age.

Though one part of me tells my mom to resign from her job. The other part says it would be great if she could work till retirement. One of my dear wishes is to deliver a speech before a gathering on my moms retiring day.

I am trying to fight laziness head on.

South Indian girls are far better than North Indian girls when it comes to respecting people. Not generalizing. I can't stand people who can treat things as humans.

The other day when I was waiting for a bus, I heard a pujari in a nearby temple say ' Trees are treated as Gods by some as they give fresh air and shelter to a lot of people, in a time when we people think twice to help our fellow being.' I found it to be profound.

If you are not going to tell a person that you felt bad about what he/she said/did, then there is only 1% chance that you don't get hurt by the same person a second time.

I love to read anything about the psyche and how it works these days. Given a time turner, I would love to do my graduation in psychology. Having said that I also have to say formal education is only required for employment.

I like Chak De India more than Lagaan. Not that I like Sharukh to Aamir or Hockey to Cricket.

There are some times when I try to think when I am supposed to feel. And there are many other times when I feel when I actually should be thinking. Did the creator interchange my heart and brain?

Confession ; I don't lift all calls that come to my mobile and reply to all messages unless I think it's necessary. I don't think there is any need in picking up and telling that 'I am busy and will call back later' when you actually don't feel like talking to that person in the first place.

I wish to live a long life.

'You don't own a person in a relationship'. This understood I don't think there will be many break ups/ divorces.

I can do really superb things which you might say insane. Just like what I am doing now. From office to net cafe and doing aimless blogging. Ha:)

All ears

Hey.. I have not been posting a lot on favorite songs/songsters/composers these days. To me a day without some music is a day incomplete. Just thought of these three songs which I have been listening to repeatedly for the past few weeks. I have been performing them with my heart inside out on my PG's terrace where my mobile becomes the mike and the vast night sky, the audience:)  

1. Mere chehre ki dho nishaaniyaan - God, Rahman... You must have got up directly from your prayers and composed this one:) It's got a divine touch end-to-end. More often than not you come up with an ethereal melody like this that mizzles on one's heart leaving it fresh ... Halki si baarish huyi sooki zindagi par...(A light shower on my barren life) ... Sonu Nigam pulls it off really well( If it was sung by another proficient singer also I would have liked it, might be. But Sonu Nigam brings in the emotion in those lines (which I think will be more evident after the release of the film) to the fullest , especially I thought this line of the pallavi... ' Is phone ke saas par, meri awaaz bhar, mujhpe hasthi hain khamoshiyaannnnnnnnnn' and also all those endings, meherbaniyaann/badhgumaniyaann/nishaniyaann. And Abbas Tyrewala, I just can't wait for the release of your  movie. And what a songster you are!! Janne tu remains to top my playlist even today, equally for the lyrics and music. Jhoota hi sahi album is also unfolding before me in the same way. Been listening to only 'Cry Cry' and 'Dho nishanniyaan' though, can't get enough of this one itself...:)

2. Pookal pookum tharunam aaruyir paarthadu yaarum ilaye - I can just write the lyrics of this song at a stretch. Na. Muthukumar pens beautifully , here are some of the best wordses of recent times in the lines of first love. ' Enna uravu idhu edhuvum puriyavilai endra pothum idhu neeludhe (What relationship is this, not able to understand it but still I am hanging on to)...Yaar endru ariyaamal, peyar kuda theriyamal ivan odu oru sondhum uruvaanadhe(Haven't known him, but still a nameless relationship is building its way)... Yen endru ketkaamal, valithaalum nirkamal ivan pogum vazhi engum manam pogudhe(Without asking why's, without stopping even if it hurts, my heart is going his way)...' Harini, where were you this long.? Your voice hasn't changed even a shade though. Mesmerizing like always. Roop Kumar Rathod, what a singer! When he sings 'Poonthalure...'  it touches all chords of my heart. Some singers have a niche with love songs, Rathod is one such. Pookal pookum is as beautiful as his Khamosh raath(an all time fav number). G.V. Prakash has composed it really well. Those Andrea's english verses and the Thaana thom thanana...thaana thom thanana... are really sweet. 

3. Maavin chottile manam ulla maduramai, manadharil kulirunn yen baalyam(the smell and sweetness of the mango of childhood days )- A beautiful melody that brings in nostalgia for a keralite especially. The first time I heard this song was on TV,  Swetha Mohan sang it for some Singapore Asianet show . Me and mom were enjoying each line of it. It was sprinkled with freshness throughout. Mom's eyes lightened up as she articulated incidents of her childhood days relating to the lines in this number. It's so beautifully written and so well sung by Sweta(singer Sujathas daughter). It's composed by M.G.Sreekumar(singer turned composer). 'Niramaarna sandhya maanju, mazhai ulla raathri poyi... innum marayatha mazha orrma yen balyam'.(The colorful evenings have shaded out, the rainy nights are all gone, just those showery memories of my childhood are left behind). 

Happy listening... Life is beautiful... :)

Tat Tvam Asi

Some days back read a beautiful post on spirituality and humanity. After reading that I have wanted to pour in my thoughts about the same subject. Many times I draft something, but either due to unstable net connection or writer's block I don't post them. I have always contemplated on the existence of a supreme power. As a child, I was taught that God can solve all my problems. And that all the good and bad things I do, God is watching over me. I was taught on how to join hands and pray. I remember asking Mom at the temple, ' What should I pray ?' And Mom used to tell me 'Ask him for good health, good marks etc'. I guess most of the parents tell their children the same. I used to believe Mom, and when my Maths marks are down and Mom used to scold me for all the careless mistakes I have made. I used to directly go to the pooja room and ask the deities 'Why did you all have to do this to me?':) Days went by, and my meaning of God also changed. To me somehow it's like this, if it's good it is God. As I used to tell my buddies, there is no good in GOD but there is God in GOoD. I never fold my hands before deities, I just keep my right hand on my chest and close my eyes for sometime. And all I say most of the time is 'You are my strength'. Everyone has goodness in them and how much of goodness that much of God too. I am not against any religion or God. I am against the society which has divided people in the name of both. I am against all those people who set off communal riots within the country. Seeing God in statues and in different forms is the problem, why not see God in yourself. According to me, the strength in you is the God and the weakness in you, the evil. Why not worship yourself for the goodness in you? Why not teach our children more about the goodness in doing good things than the goodness in God.? They after all are not going to see someone by name God in their lifetime, rather tell them about good people. Why not be humane than godly? After walking the eighteen steps in Sabarimala temple, what the devotee gets to see is these lines 'Tat Tvam Asi'(Thou art that) meaning ' You are God', the ultimate knowledge. I have understood now that good marks come only by studying and good health by good habits. Unlike my brother I never used to follow Ramayana or Mahabharata. My questions to Mom were , Why Lord Rama had to  prove to his countrymen that Sita is chaste? Why didn't Lord Krishna marry Radha, his childhood lover? I used to be this girly kind and used to hate anyone who makes girls cry , be it God or Man. Even now Mom doesn't have solid answers to these. But my questions now have changed. I ask 'Why are innocent people killed?' , 'Why isn't there equality in the society?' Can your GOD answer them? But I guess WE can. 

Found you..

These scenes between Kunal and Konkana from Chunari mai lagaa dhaag was something I was looking for a long time now. Cute ones. Fans of Konkana / Kunal, don't miss these scenes out. And please do watch the movie if you find it, it did move me.

You have no rights...

I just want to tell the world out there. ' You can be a bad person as you have all the rights to choose what you have to be in your life span. But that doesn't give you licence to play havoc in someone's life who trusted you. No law might punish you but you can't escape the final judgement. The only godly thing I believe in.'

First Love - Part 1

Disclaimer: The protagonists in the story are my brain child. And any resemblances to real life people is unintended.

Hi Sri... ' This is Sanjay. You have forgotten me totally right? But I have never been able to forget you. What actually had happened, I want to know? Are you ok?  Can't we be friends again?' 

She didn't have to finish reading it . By then her eyes were filled totally in a way that she couldn't see the logout in her mail account. She closed the browser and ran to the terrace before any one could see her crying. The dusky evening was approaching. She wiped her tears on her kurta sleeves. Took a deep breath and looked at the orange sky.  They would have spoken about the evening sky's shades for more than a hundred times. So much has changed over the last two years around Sri. But inside her nothing has even marginally changed. Her friends had said that time would heal everything. She had tried her best to forget it all, and she would ask herself if my friends were able to forget their breakup blows and move on in life, why can't I? But it wasn't that easy for Sri, as hers was not a break up. And there were no bitter things in her past relationship. That evening she decided to revisit her past for one last time.

4yrs back...

Sri was doing her second year in literature. She was a happy-go-lucky girl. Had no particular aims in life. All that she knew was to be madly alive. At the drop of a hat she would make a friend. But the special people in her life were just a fistful. Sri believed in the power of emotions to thoughts. She would often say, some people can't think, but all of us can emote. It was on an eventful night at the Nehru stadium in Chennai where she first met Sanjay. Sanjay was a core member of social work group that had organized events to raise funds for Child Welfare Organisation throughout Tamil Nadu. The social causes that this group addressed were galore. That evening in addition to music and dance by various troupes, there was also a writing competition and the topic was child sexual abuse in India. Pamphlets of the competition was distributed in all arts colleges a week back itself. Sri had participated. Sanjay announced the winner of the competition, He read out on the mike, I would like to read these lines from Sri Priya's entry of the day. 'I ask, what is wrong in chopping those hands that touched a child's private parts without a shiver. I ask, what is wrong in plucking those eyes which can see a child as an object to masturbate. I don't see anything less severe than death for giving someone only bad memories of their chilhood for rest of their lifetime. The biggest of all the sins.' The audience applauded as Sri walked on to the stage to collect her award. After the ceremony Sanjay asked Sri whether she would care to talk with him for some time.

Sanjay: So tell me writer, what will be your first book on?

Sri:        Whoa... I don't think I have it in me to become a writer. I hardly pen.

Sanjay: Come on it is there in you. You just have to keep at it. Ok tell me your favorite writers?

Sri:      I don't read a lot of books. I just write if I think I have a say on the subject. Hey wait. May I know who you are? And why are you so interested in getting me to write. 

Sanjay: I am Sanjay. Based in Mumbai. Did my enginnering and then went on to do my MBA and now studying in TISS. It must be sounding stupid to you, right? Field work ke liye, we have come to TN. And hey it is hell to commute in your place. People know only one language. Please teach your auto waalas atleast words like 'Peeche jaao'. You know in Bangalore when we went last time for field work it was helluva better. Auto waalas knew hindi and atleast some English.And you know wat, people should learn Hindi it's our national language and...

Sri: Hang on please. I just asked who you are? And you are telling me your commuting problems. I didn't ask for that.

Sanjay: Just like your thoughts on chopping a pervert's hands, you too are tough I guess Sri.

Sri: My name is Sri Priya. You can call me by my full name. 

Sanjay: Hey, I gues you are not interested in talking to me. Sorry for those unsolicited questions. Just wanted to tell you, your pennings touched a chord. Sorry again. Bye Sri Priya.

Sri: Thanks.

That night she lay on her bed thinking of why did she have to talk to someone gratingly when she was just being complimented. She was being rude and she was never like that before. She said a sorry to the void before crashing in, not knowing she would meet him before long.

P.S.

This is my first try to write a love story. Though I had written a rough draft in my diary, I would like to write it in parts here. It's not a candy floss story. It's more of a girl thing. For now, thats it. I don't even know when I would post my next draft. Anyways hopefully to be carried on...

Faith/ love... Jo Bhi Kaho...

'Aum Bhur Bhuva Swaha, Tat savitur varenyum,

Bhargo devasya dhi mahi, dhiyo yo na prachodayat'

It's the Gayathri mantra, which I had kind of crammed some weeks back. I was having trouble in sleeping and my mom had made me memorize these lines. I didn't fall asleep as soon as I said these sanskrit words whose meaning I was unware of. But the intensity of faith in which she told me had some how become communicable. Yaa, I too kind of got the same faith in these lines. And not soon after that, but yaa after few days I kind of slept really well. Morning, I went and kissed mom thank you. She told me if it had worked why don't you include it in your prayers every day. I told her,I will do. I went and googled about those lines. Yaa I could easily find out the translation of every word. But it wasn't like poetry which when read together made sense. But this much was apparent, it has something to do with mental strength. I went on to think, was it really because of these lines? Do these lines really play some sort of magic. If so people wouldn't go for tranquilizers, sleeping pills. One mantra, peaceful sleep, problem solved. America will no longer be called the prozac nation with all americans saying the Gayathri slogan. I thought of 3 idiots, the Aal Izz Well mania which has spread nation wide. After much cerebration, I suddenly realized my undisturbed slumber for the past few days actually had nothing to do with my recitation. Coz everytime I used to say these lines, my mind never used to translate the words so that I  get a complete feel of it and pray with my heart in it, not to mention I was far from a religious person. But yaa, when telling  these alien words I used to feel my mom's presence. I would remember the faith in which she taught me those lines. It wasn't faith. Was it? Wasn't it actually love? Or must be her faith, and my love. I also had an enlightenment that day, people aren't devoid of sleep, they are actually devoid of love or atleast they think they are. And love and fear can't co-exist. Well once that fear is gone, I can vouch on a lucid sleep.  And yaa my Gayathri devi can be none other than my mom:)

Royally unwinding...

For a girl who isn't much of a foodie, getting to hogg in the posh restaurants of Chennai in the name of treats and that too in a job which she hasn't still come in terms to, can be called what? LOL. If you have a PL like mine, no surprises here.  Gonna fly soon...dolar to INR calc!, return from onsite...wallet is heavy na?, quit job...that's great!, birthday... once in a yr!, confirmation...no more fresher!, or just that it's high time we went to some place other than office, it's party time then. Just in a weeks time  of joining my team, I had gone to Residential towers. And from then on, I would have visited nearly 10 such hotels in a matter of say just 8 months. And that too with the entire team. That's the apprehensive part of it all.       Hanging out with your friends is different from unwinding off with your team mates. You have to still remain professional. Now that's the last thing you would want to when you are partying. My PL puts it this way, just in office I am your PL and you have to take orders. (Point, he rarely orders in office too). It might sound bizarre, but I have never expected to survive this long in IT industry. Not because it is hard to, but coz it's hard for me to remain in a place where I don't see myself contributing to the teams growth. Now if I am saying that, I will also have to answer my Engineering degree disgustly looking at me and asking 'what the hell did you do for 4 years to have me?'. 'True boss, I didn't tell anything, I was just contemplating on 3 idiots movie... ';) Now where was I unwinding at.? Yaa after Residential, it was in Golden sun resort, ECR road. It was really good. The beach and the sun are something to die for. This time the rains in Chennai made me realize something, that I am someone who perfers summer to winter. When it's breezy it's fine, but when the sun goes out of sight, I kind of want it to come back. Friends call me junk when I share this with them. Then there were outings to Green park, Rain forest, Le Royal Meridien. At Green park, we shook hands with  director Muragadoss of Ghajini fame. Oh yaar, the guy was down to earth and my friend had soon noticed that he was wearing a costlier shirt than the director. The last restaurant I went to and should say the best till now was Basera hotel in ECR. The tables and chairs are wooden trunks, the restaurant is set up outdoors. We had lunched there. The food was awesome. Though I thought it's a place you should come with your dear one to dine. It will be best at twilight. This year I am looking forward for a trip to Pondy, Fisherman's Cove at ECR, a bangalore trip, and yaa want to go to some villages too. This time atleast with close friends, coz believe me it's an eerie feeling to unlax with your team always:)

Idhu sogam aanaalum, oru sugam...

It's been long I wrote something in my page. Kind of bored to pen today also. But couldn't stop writing down the lines I am listening to now and which I have been humming for more than a week now. Maalai neram, mazhai thurram kaalam enn jennalin orrum nitkiren from Aayirathil Oruvan. Awe-struck actually. I heard from my friend that Selvaraghavan has himself penned the lyrics. I have heard songs which are full of life. This song is a step above that, should I say full of soul? Down the memory lane there are lots of moments we treasure, and there are equal moments we want to forget. Somebody has told, 'Past doesn't exist, it's just in memories and to think otherwise is to invite a mess'. Yaa it might be true, but director Selva, time and again comes with creations romancing the past. The key factor about Selva's certain songs are that they are just taken from the memory lane and without any adulteration presented. Who can forget Ninaithu ninaithu paarthen or Oru nallil vaazhkai.? It's so much real, it is so much of soul, it is so much of YOU. For all those non-fictional people listening to Maalai neram in Andrea's awesome voice and dropping a tear or two on your pillow covers... It's ok, you can move on... you must be lucky to have felt it:) Un karam korkayil, ninnaivu orr aayiram, Numm irru karam pirrigayil, ninnaivu nooru aayiram. Kadhalil vizhindu idhayam, meezhka mudiyadhadha Kanavil thulaindha nijangal, meendum thirumbadhadha. Oru kaalayil nee illai, thedavum manam varavillai, Pirindhadhum, purindhadhu, naan ennai izhandhen enna... Idhu sogam aanal oru sugam, nenjin ulle parravidum, Naam paazhagiya kaalam paravasam,anbe...Idham tharume... Tamil literature is beautiful, wish I could study to read and write properly. :)